


Learning Curves

by straydog733



Series: Sex Ed with Radio Cabel [1]
Category: Zombies Run!
Genre: Cunnilingus, F/M, M/M, Multi, Polyamory, Radio Cabel, Sex Education
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-22
Updated: 2015-11-22
Packaged: 2018-05-02 22:18:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,614
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5265755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/straydog733/pseuds/straydog733
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>During a detour through a book store on Roadio Cabel’s trip, Phil seeks out some…interesting reading material. Random Playlist, vaguely NSFW.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Learning Curves

The bookstore was already somewhat picked over. It had been a long apocalypse of people trying to find non-electronic entertainment, and the rusty smears on the floor told the stories of at least a few battles. But while all the wilderness survival books were gone and the café was bare, there was still enough choice to make it a worthwhile stop on the road trip. The four of them split up to wander through the shelves at their leisure, hoping to restock the reading materials in the van. Phil studied a sign with a dozen arrows and headed toward the religion section.

This, however, was a clever ruse, devised to ensure that none of his heathen friends would follow him. He browsed through some books on Christian philosophy (and noted a few titles he would have to come back for) until all sound of footsteps was gone. Then he slipped around a corner into a very, very different section.

Almost every single cover was some shade of pink, save a couple scattered through with black covers sporting pictures of handcuffs or leather. This section looked largely untouched; it was probably not the most important information to preserve after the fall of humanity. But it was not an area of study he had looked into much before the outbreak, and with the new arrangement between him and his co-hosts, he needed as much extra help as he could get.

He skimmed until he found a title that looked promising, only spent a few moments puzzling over the pomegranate on the cover, and started reading as quickly as he could. He could rip out any pages that looked vital, but he would never hear the end of it if any of them came across the book.

Of course, he was just having that thought when Jack rounded the corner of the Sex and Erotica section to find him reading a copy of “Spread Wide: The Beginners Guide to Cunnilingus”.

-/-

Jack felt like he had found a pretty good haul. He had grabbed a few sci-fi novels, and been thrilled to find that the notebook section was largely untouched. With a bag full of unlined paper and a pocket stuffed with different types of fancy pens, he was set for art supplies for a month. He was just considering how best to use the remnants of their campfire for charcoal sketches when he heard Phil clearing his throat and moved towards the noise without a second thought.

He found Phil deeply engrossed in a book, brow furrowed and biting his lower lip. He turned a page and nodded to himself, like he was just understanding some bit of great wisdom. Aside from the bright red blush of his cheeks and the title of the book, he could have been studying from one of his edible flower encyclopedias.

Even the gesturing flappy hands were the same.

“Wh- oh shut up!” he scoffed in response to Jack’s hysterical laughter. “What, a man can’t do some reading in privacy?”

“Your hands- oh god, your hands! Looks like you’re trying to shoot Spider Man webs!”

“It’s the way I learn and retain information. Now go away and let me study.”

Jack leaned against one of the shelves and smirked, crossing his arms over his chest. “Going to find a book on blowjobs too? Cover all your bases? Or were you going to come to me for some expert advice?”

To his credit, Phil was able to shoot back an even, steady glare. “It’s a penis. How ha- difficult can it be?”

“You caught yourself before you said ‘hard’, didn’t you?”

“Shut up and let me read.”

Jack let a bit of the smirk fall away and stepped closer to Phil, resting a hand on his arm. “You know you don’t have to do any studying, right? We’re going to take all of this as slow as you want. As slow as any of us want.”

Phil nodded and fiddled with the corner of a page. “I know that. And god knows Zoe will tell me exactly how to do things. But I figure it’s better to even the playing field a bit. You all have experience, at least I can have research.”

“Whatever works for you.” He nudged Phil’s shoulder with his own and pointed at the book. “And I’m pretty new at this side of it too. Two experimental shags with a friend in uni are all I have to work with when it comes to the fairer sex.”

Phil cast a conspiratorial look around and dropped his voice lower. He leaned in to Jack and flipped open to a page with a drawn diagram. “Then maybe we can both feel like idiots here. See, I’m trying to understand what they mean when they’re talking about-“

Jack hunched over the book as well, trying to decipher the diagrams and follow the thread of Phil’s question at the same time. In less than a minute, it was very clear that he needed to start doing some research too. Or consult someone with more experience.

-/-

The cookbook section was more depressing than helpful. All of the survival cooking books were long gone, along with ones about home gardening and working with natural ingredients, so all that was left were collections of microwave recipes for college students and haute cuisine books that assumed you had access to balsamic compote and brie. God, he would kill for brie. He decided that he would only pack up one for nostalgia’s sake (a cheese-making guide to hold out hope that he would ever get access to the necessities again), and made his way to the science fiction section to try and find something good and pulpy.

He had only just entered the section when he heard a “psst” from behind one of the shelves, clearly the sound of Jack trying to quietly call out to him. His hand was on how sword immediately, while he wondered how they could have missed any zoms in the store.

“No, no danger, Gene. Phil and I just need your advice on something.”

He spun around to see Jack looking at him over the top of one of the shelves, tall enough that he had probably climbed up the other side. He gave Gene an apologetic grin.

“Sorry, love, didn’t mean to scare you. Just heard your crutches and thought you could give us a hand. Come around the other side.”

He sighed and shook his head while walking around the shelf. He loved Jack, but was a little alone time to check out some books in peace too much to ask for? And what question couldn’t wait until they were all back in the van? He came around the corner into a visual assault of pink, with Phil and Jack standing in the middle bent over a book. A book about cunnilingus.

“What.”

“Gene, come over here, we need your advice on this.” Jack rubbed his chin in concentration while he read the book, like he was puzzling over the great mysteries of the universe. “Can you find the g-spot just by touch, or do you sort of poke around in the general area and watch her reactions?” Both he and Phil looked up for his answer. Phil looked like he should have a notebook and pen, ready to take a million notes.

He didn’t think he could be blamed for cackling as loud as he did, circumstances what they were.

-/-

When Zoe heard Eugene laughing from all the way across the store, she shook her head and went back to flipping through the classics. If she was going to get back into the van with those three lovable lunatics, she was going to need some Jane Austen in hand to cut through all the testosterone. And there were still some Brontes on the shelves, so she would be well set for a while. A quick stop by the gaming section to grab guidebooks for video games she never got around to playing, a lingering trip through the pet section for more books on hand-raising kittens, and she finally decided to go looking for them.

She found them in the middle of a very spirited debate, which was not that unusual. Jack and Phil could usually find something to argue about, and Eugene was never one to turn down the chance to hear his own voice. But she couldn’t decide if it was the fact that their current arrangement was new, or if walking into a lively conversation about one’s vagina would always be strange.

She stood at the end of the aisle and listened for a few moments, to hear Eugene’s full speech on what a cervix actually felt like, but cleared her throat in the middle of Phil’s second follow-up question.

She had never actually seen a human being blush as purple as Phil turned just then, as he clutched the book that started it all to his chest. Jack grinned at her even as he turned bright red, and Eugene had to lean against a bookshelf to stop from falling over laughing. She waited until he was somewhat quieter to speak, arms crossed over her chest and smile tugging at the corners of her mouth.

“Studying hard?”

Jack snorted, Eugene started crying from how hard he was laughing, and Phil seemed to be trying to sink his head completely between his shoulders. She strode over and gripped the side of his arm.

“I appreciate the effort, Phil, I really do.” She met his gaze and got a shaky smile out of him when she bounced her eyebrows. “And at least the pop quizzes will be fun.”


End file.
